Burnout Isn’t a Breakdown — It’s a Wake-Up Call to Reclaim Your Life
When we hear the word burnout, most of us tense up. It carries the weight of shame, fear, panic. Our inner voice might whisper: “I can’t afford to stop,” or shout, “What’s wrong with me?”
We’re taught to view burnout as a failure — a personal flaw, a weakness to overcome. But what if that’s not true?
What if burnout isn’t a crisis to fix... but a message to listen to?
The Problem With How We’ve Been Taught to See Burnout
The dominant narrative tells us burnout is something to avoid at all costs. That we’ve somehow messed up if we find ourselves depleted. But this fear-driven mindset keeps us stuck in a cycle of urgency, shame, and overcompensation — constantly vigilant, waiting for the next collapse.
This pattern isn’t just unsustainable. It’s harmful to our nervous system. We remain in threat-protection mode, unable to truly restore or grow. Something has to shift.
A New Way In: Acceptance, Not Resistance
In Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), we’re invited to practice acceptance — not resignation, but recognition. It’s the skill of saying, “This is here. I don’t have to like it. But I’m going to stop fighting it long enough to understand it.”
When we resist burnout, we stay stuck in struggle. But when we turn toward it with curiosity and compassion, something begins to change.
A More Accurate Metaphor: Quicksand and the Power of Stillness
Burnout can feel like being caught in quicksand. The instinct is to panic, to struggle, to thrash against it — but that only pulls us in deeper.
The surprising truth? It’s slowing down, softening, and spreading your weight that helps you stop sinking. In the same way, when we stop fighting burnout and meet it with calm awareness, we create space to breathe, assess, and eventually move forward with clarity.
This shift from struggle to stillness is often where healing begins.
What Burnout Might Be Trying to Tell You
In my work with midlife women — professionals, caregivers, creatives — burnout shows up not as the enemy, but as a truth-teller.
It’s often the body’s way of saying:
“I can’t keep doing this.”
“Something has to change.”
“You’ve been living out of alignment for too long.”
For some, burnout reveals that the work is no longer meaningful. For others, it’s the impact of a toxic system or an impossible load. Whatever the cause, those who dare to listen — to stop overriding their truth — are the ones who begin to find real joy again.
Not easy joy. But honest, soul-aligned, grounded joy.
My Own Turning Point
I’ve lived this. As a psychologist, I thought I should know better. When burnout hit me, I wanted to fix it fast. Push through. Perform my way out.
But the version of me that was hustling for worth — the one who said yes when I meant no, who put others’ needs first, always — she was exhausted. And she was no longer sustainable.
Burnout wasn’t just a breakdown. It was a breakthrough. A moment where I finally heard the quiet voice inside say:
“You don’t have to keep abandoning yourself to belong.”
The Joy of Burnout?
This idea isn’t mine alone. Dr. Dina Glouberman, in her book The Joy of Burnout, describes burnout as “the soul’s cry for a new way of being.”
It’s not joyful because it feels good — but because it can be a doorway to truth.
Burnout strips away the parts of us that were never really ours to carry. The perfectionism. The people-pleasing. The endless proving. And what’s left is raw, but it’s real. And from that place, we get to rebuild.
Gentle Questions to Reflect On
If this is resonating, I invite you to pause and ask yourself:
What if your burnout isn’t a breakdown, but a message that something in your life has expired?
What if your exhaustion is trying to protect you from further self-betrayal?
What would it mean to stop resisting burnout… and start befriending it?
If you could meet this moment with compassion instead of control — what might unfold?
From Collapse to Clarity
Burnout is painful, yes. But it can also be purposeful. It invites you to stop. To listen. To honour what’s real.
You don’t have to return to who you were before burnout. That version of you was surviving. This new version? She’s learning to thrive — gently, honestly, courageously.
There is wisdom in your fatigue. There is clarity in your collapse. And yes — there is joy on the other side. Not surface-level cheerfulness, but deep, aligned, truth-filled joy.
Closing Reflection
If it feels safe to do so, take a breath.
Place a hand over your heart.
And say to yourself:
“I hear you. I’m listening. I’m not going to abandon you anymore.”
That — right there, is the beginning of a new relationship with burnout.
Want more?
🎧 Tune into Episode 53 of the Midlife Reclaimed Podcast — a solo episode where I take a deep dive into this very topic of burnout as a doorway to transformation. I share insights from ACT, personal experience, and the work of Dr. Dina Glouberman to help you see burnout through a more compassionate lens.
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