Personal Perspective: A midlife journey from burnout to renewal
[Originally posted to Psychology Today on 27 February 2025]
Four years ago, early in my midlife life, I made one of the hardest and most life-altering decisions of my life. I walked away from the career that consumed my life and identity: clinical psychologist in private practice. I didn’t have a clear roadmap ahead, but I knew one thing for certain: I needed help. The weight of expectation, the exhaustion, the burnout—it all became too much. And so, I stepped away.
This post is a reflection on that day, 25.02.2021, the emotions that followed, and the transformation that unfolded in its wake. If you’ve ever found yourself standing at a crossroads, unsure of what’s next, I invite you to join me in exploring the lessons and insights that have shaped my journey. Perhaps they’ll spark something in you, too.
The Moment That Changed Everything
I had been struggling for ages, not knowing which way I needed to go. A part of me knew I needed to leave the 1:1 therapy work I had been doing for so long, but I felt deep shame around letting others down: my clients, the practice I worked at, and my family, and my husband. It wasn’t until I found the courage to confide in a trusted and compassionate person—someone directly affected by my decision—that I finally felt I could do what I had known deep down was necessary. Their words of understanding and support lifted the weight of guilt and shame, giving me the permission I struggled to grant myself. In that moment, the weight I had been carrying began to lighten.
The Emotional Landscape of Change
Leaving behind the familiar comes with an emotional whirlwind. For months, I felt shame, guilt, and hopelessness. The only direction I could grasp was the need to get help—to address the reasons why I had found myself here, to confront lifelong patterns of beliefs and behaviours, and to tend to the sadness, hurt, and pain of caring for others struggling severely with their mental health. Over time, waves of fear, relief, uncertainty, and unexpected hope ebbed and flowed as I slowly found my footing.
How did I process it? I turned to therapy, journaling, and time in nature. I took long walks with my dog, allowed myself plenty of rest on the couch, and leaned on my husband. Slowly, I began opening up to trusted family and friends, letting them into the reality of what I was going through. During this time, I stepped away from work entirely, prioritising my healing above all else. Rather than avoiding the discomfort, I chose to acknowledge it, feel it fully, and explore what it had to teach me. Over time, this intentional stillness allowed a profound shift to take place—one that led me toward clarity and self-reconnection.
Lessons Learned: Redefining Work, Worth, and Success
In the four years since, I’ve learned some of the most valuable lessons of my life:
My worth isn’t defined by my career. I had to unlearn the belief that my value was tied to external validation and achievement.
Boundaries aren’t optional. The missteps I made in the past—ignoring my needs, focusing on the needs of others only, pushing past my limits—became stepping stones toward a healthier way of living.
Success looks different now. It’s no longer about productivity metrics; it’s about energy balance, joy, and meaningful connection.
The Role of Burnout in My Journey
Burnout was my wake-up call. The exhaustion, the loss of passion, the deep sadness and the overwhelming anxiety—all were signs I had ignored for far too long. Now, I approach self-care and balance with intention. Setting boundaries, honouring my needs, and making space for rest are non-negotiable.
Looking back, I see how much I’ve changed—not just in what I do, but in how I see and treat myself. I’ve unearthed strengths I didn’t know I had: resilience, adaptability, and an unwavering commitment to my well-being. I’ve learned to trust my intuition and embrace the vulnerability that comes with being human.
A Message for Those at a Crossroads
If you’re standing where I once stood—overwhelmed, exhausted, wondering if there’s another way—I want you to know this:
Trust yourself. Your inner wisdom knows more than you think.
It’s OK to redefine your path, even if it means letting go of what’s familiar.
Boundaries and self-care aren’t luxuries; they’re essential.
Seek out those who can offer you compassion, understanding, and support—a trusted individual or a community that aligns with your journey.
Looking Forward
The journey doesn’t end here. I continue to evolve, learning from each experience, and building a life that aligns with who I am today—not who I thought I had to be.
For those on their own path of transformation, know that you are not alone. Together, we are reclaiming our midlife after burnout—not just as an escape from exhaustion, but as an opportunity to create a more sustainable, fulfilling life on our own terms.
How are you reclaiming your midlife after burnout? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Reach out on social media and let’s continue this conversation and build a community where authenticity, connection, and self-compassion lead the way.